A smaller memorial service could, in light of the current circumstances, be held on the day of the funeral. It can also take place on a specific date in the future, such as your loved one’s birthday or the anniversary of their death, or at any other time following their funeral.
Prepare in advance for any memorial you plan to arrange. If you live with family or other people, especially others who may not have known the deceased, tell them what you are planning for that day and at what time, so they know when to pay their respects or to give you some quiet and space to do so yourself.
This could just be over the phone, or it could be a video call via WhatsApp, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Microsoft Teams, Skype or Zoom.
Connecting with loved ones to share memories may provide a little solace at a difficult time
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You could create a private Facebook event or group and invite only close friends and family. If your loved one was part of a larger social circle or community, you may decide to create a public post, explaining that everyone can use that space to pay their respects. This may give loved ones the opportunity to share videos, photos, stories and cherished memories of the person who has passed away.
There may, of course, be friends and family members who do not use social media or who would find a personal invitation more appropriate. For friends and relatives that do not use the internet, a phone call may be a good idea.
The easiest way to hold a memorial whilst observing current restrictions is via social media.
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This could be a single portrait or a memory board with your favourite photos from different stages of their life. You could even do this on a computer, by preparing a slideshow or video in honour of your loved one, which could easily be shared online with friends.
You could display photos of your loved one at home or create a photo memorial tribute.
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You could prepare a video eulogy in honour of your loved one and share this with friends who were unable to attend the funeral. This may be on public forums like social media, private chat groups or stored as a personal keepsake
A eulogy is a speech at a funeral commemorating the life of your loved one.
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After the cremation of a loved one, it can be difficult to decide what to do with their ashes. It’s not uncommon for people to keep the ashes at home or in a special place, so the person who has passed away can still be part of their lives.
The scattering of ashes is also a popular way for the person to be returned to the earth, or to be given an extra-special send-off in a place that meant something to them. We have a list of places you can scatter ashes to help you decide where is most appropriate. Alternatively, we can scatter your loved one’s ashes in our gardens of remembrance. We can advise where the ashes have been scattered for you to visit at a later date when the government's restrictions on non-essential travel have been lifted.
Although scattering is the most popular option in the UK, we've also created a guide of unique things to do with ashes.
If your loved one wanted to be buried but this was not an option available to you at the time, the interment of their ashes may be a suitable alternative.
A memorial service or ‘celebration of life’ can be held at some time after, or instead of a funeral service. There are no rules on when a memorial must be held so this can happen at any time in the future, for example when the Government’s social distancing guidelines have been lifted.
Holding a memorial service is the perfect way for a larger group of people to say goodbye, particularly if there were no mourners present or the number of attendees at the funeral were limited due to COVID-19. Many people also choose to hold a memorial service with their loved one’s ashes present, prior to their scattering or interment.
Learn more about arranging a memorial service.
If you plan to hold a memorial service in honour of your loved one, we advise you do not do this until the Government's guidance on social distancing has been lifted.
Grief is the normal response after the death of someone that’s important to you. Everyone grieves in their own way; there is no right or wrong way to grieve as long as you are not harming yourself or those around you. Grief often brings about both physical and emotional pain. Shock, anger, sadness, guilt, regret, numbness and loneliness, even relief, are just some emotions that you may feel as well as changes to your appetite, fatigue and difficulty sleeping.
Grief is not an illness and so is not something for which there is a cure. The overwhelming majority of people will continue to treasure memories of the person who has died but eventually are able to find a way to look forward and enjoy life again, though this often takes much longer than we expect. Some people find it immensely helpful to talk with someone outside their usual circle of family and friends and online bereavement support provided by the National Bereavement Service is here to help you.
Cruse Bereavement Care (England & Wales)
