What to write in a sympathy card
A thoughtful way of letting somebody who is recently bereaved know that you’re there for them is to send a sympathy card or funeral flowers.
Whilst our words can’t take away the pain of losing a loved one, they can make a grieving person feel loved and supported.
Unfortunately, finding the words to write in a sympathy card, or on a note to accompany funeral flowers, isn’t easy.
Sometimes, the fear of not saying the right thing can lead to us not saying anything at all.
This guide provides examples of appropriate messages for a sympathy card or funeral flowers.
What to write in a sympathy card
Before deciding what to write in a sympathy card, you should decide who you will address the card to; the way you write your sympathy card and the tone you take will be determined by who it is intended for.
If you knew the deceased well, address your sympathy card to the closest living relative - usually the partner or spouse, or eldest child.
If you didn’t know the deceased but your friend was close to the deceased, address it to them. If a friend’s parent has passed, write the card to your friend. You can add 'and family’ onto your greeting if you wish.
A sympathy message does not need to be long; your message can be brief but still warm and comforting. You may find it easier to write a few drafts of your message on a piece of paper first, to make sure you are happy with the words you have chosen.
Here are some examples of sympathy card messages; use them as they are, combine them or customise them to express your feelings:
Short sympathy card messages
With heartfelt condolences
We are sorry for your loss
You are in our thoughts during this difficult time
Thinking of you in these difficult times
With my deepest sympathy
With all our love and sympathy at this sad time
With love to you and your family
I was saddened to hear of your loss
Longer sympathy card messages
It was with great sadness that we learned of [name] passing. Please accept our heartfelt condolences and we hope that in a small way they help through these trying times
May memories of [name] and the love of family surround you and give you strength in the days ahead
I am at a loss for words during this sorrowful time. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying for your peace and comfort
I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now, but I want you to know that we are just a phone call away. My heartfelt condolences
Biblical verses for sympathy cards
If you or the sympathy card’s recipient are Christian, then a biblical verse could provide some comfort. The same applies for other religions.
Here are some suitable verses from the bible:
“Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” - Matthew 11:28
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” - Matthew 5:4
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” - Isaiah 41:10
Offering support and an ear to listen when someone has suffered a bereavement is a kind gesture. Providing you know the recipient well; you may want to include an offer to help in some way in the sympathy card.
What to write on funeral flowers
Funeral flowers are a traditional way of expressing your condolences in times of mourning. When ordering funeral flowers, you will normally be able to send a small card to go with them.
It’s up to you what you write on the card, however it’s important to consider you will have less space to write a message than you would on a sympathy card, so only a few words are needed.
You can address the message on funeral flowers to the deceased, write something about them or address the message to those that have lost their loved one.
Short funeral flower messages
Gone but never forgotten
In loving memory
Always in my heart
Treasured in memories
Forever in our thoughts
May you rest in peace
With love and fond memories
Loved and remembered
You will be dearly missed
Longer funeral flower messages
When a person becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure
Time may pass and fade away but memories of you will always stay
Many friends come into our lives but only a few leave with their footprints on our hearts
You bought joy, happiness and laughter to all who met you; you will be sorely missed by everyone
Although we are far away we will hold you close in our thoughts and in our hearts today and always
In loving memory of [name], a true friend. We will always miss you
Religious messages for funeral flowers
Goodnight and god bless
God is with you
Ours is just a simple prayer, God bless and keep you in His care
A silent thought, a quiet prayer, for a special person, in God’s care
May you rest in peace in God’s heaven
In God’s arms may you gently rest
In God’s care you rest above, in our hearts you rest with love
Things to avoid writing on sympathy cards and funeral flowers
The reason many of us struggle to find the words to write in a sympathy card or funeral flowers is because we are worried about writing something that could potentially further upset or offend.
It’s best not to allocate blame towards someone’s death, discuss the circumstances of the death, compare your own loss with anyone else’s or tell someone how they should feel in time.
With this in mind, there are some phrases that are best avoided:
It’s for the best
I understand how you’re feeling
Everything happens for a reason
They are in a better place now
It will get easier in time
It could be worse
We hope you’ve found these sympathy card and funeral flower message examples helpful. We have also created a 'What to say at a funeral' guide too if you require additional information.
Just remember you don’t have to write a lot for it to be meaningful. The important thing is that you’ve shown your support at such an upsetting time.
