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I, being of sound mind and body,Do hereby wish to make clearI don't want a fancy funeralWith the world and his wife all there
I don't need a brass-handled coffin What a terrible waste of good oak Please book me a simple cremationCome the day when I finally croak.
I've no need for solemn pall bearersOr any such grand carry-onAnd I've heard that those shiny black limosCan end up costing a ton.
My very own plot in a graveyardIs an extra I really don't needIt'll just give my poor old descendantsOne more thing to water and weed.
So I say to my sons and my daughters,And my darling adorable wife.Don't waste all your cash on my passing,But spend it instead on your life.